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Every child is different, but development follows patterns. Find the right approach for your child's age.

Ages 6-9 Ages 10-12 Ages 13+
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Foundation Stage

Ages 6-9

What's Happening Developmentally

  • → Building foundational literacy and numeracy
  • → Learning to sustain attention and effort
  • → Developing imagination through unstructured play
  • → Beginning to understand cause and effect

AI Approach: Minimal

The Rule: 100% (or close to it)

At this stage, AI should be rare and always supervised. The goal is building foundational skills that AI can't develop for them.

If AI is used: Together, for curiosity and exploration only. Never for their schoolwork.

What To Do Instead

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Read together

🎨

Draw & create

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Play outdoors

😶

Let them be bored

⚠️ Key Risk at This Age

Introducing AI too early can prevent foundational skills from forming at all. A child who can ask AI to read for them may never develop fluent reading. Protect the foundation.

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Exploration Stage

Ages 10-12

What's Happening Developmentally

  • → Abstract thinking is emerging
  • → Can handle more complex research tasks
  • → Building frustration tolerance (or not)
  • → Peer influence is increasing

AI Approach: Structured Introduction

The Rule: 80% (with training wheels)

This is the time to teach the 80% Rule. Sit with them initially. Model the right prompts. Help them resist the temptation.

Key skill: Learning to use AI as a thinking partner, not an answer machine.

Activities That Work at This Age

Curiosity Deep Dives

Explore topics by asking AI questions nobody else thinks to ask.

Explain It Differently

Build deep understanding through multiple explanations.

AI Fact Checker

Learn that AI can be wrong—and how to verify.

⚠️ Key Risk at This Age

"All my friends use ChatGPT for homework." Peer pressure is real. Have explicit conversations about why your family does it differently. Explain the long game.

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Critical Thinking Stage

Ages 13+

What's Happening Developmentally

  • → Identity formation is central
  • → Capable of sophisticated reasoning
  • → Increasingly autonomous
  • → Preparing for adult responsibilities

AI Approach: Independent Mastery

The Rule: 80% (Independent)

They should be running the framework themselves now. Your role: occasional auditor, conversation partner, trust-giver.

Advanced use: AI as debate partner, bias detector, idea challenger.

Activities That Work at This Age

AI Debate Partner

Argue any position and have AI attack it. Build resilient thinking.

Bias Detector

Use AI to find blind spots in their own reasoning.

Social Simulator

Practice difficult conversations before they happen.

⚠️ Key Risk at This Age

Opinion outsourcing. Teens who ask AI what to think before forming their own views risk never developing authentic perspectives. Watch for "let me check what ChatGPT says" becoming their first instinct.

Principles That Apply at Every Age

Protect the Struggle

Productive frustration is where growth happens. Don't let AI remove all friction.

Model the Behavior

Let them see you using AI as a critic, not a replacement for your thinking.

Stay Curious Together

Use AI to explore questions you're both genuinely curious about.

Protect Offline Time

Boredom, play, and real-world friction are essential—not optional.

Ready to go deeper?

The 80% Rule is the foundation. Master that first.

Learn the 80% Rule →